I like to think I've been lucky with my pre-school experiences I've had with my children.
First, was my son. He's now in second grade and attended a preschool in the older section of Roseville called "Joyland" for about two years. The school facility was old, and not "pretty" but the care provided was stellar, and the curriculum was perfectly appropriate for his age level and cognitive level. I would have easily taken my daughter back to that location for preschool, however I ended up choosing a school closer to our new home in Lincoln.
Now, my daughter who is 4, attends a preschool here in Lincoln. It is also in the older end of town, and also has great care providers and teachers. My daughter will come home and tell me all about how her day went, and how Miss Mindy is on vacation, and Miss Mindy's mom and dad live far away where it's night time when it's day time here. She loves it there, and truly gets MUCH out of her time there. She attended "full day" when I was employed, and now that I'm unemployed I have her attending the "minimum" level of that school which is three days per week for "pre-school" hours only (9-noon). I find the socialization is hugely helpful for her, and it's helping her to understand that we all have our roles to play, whether it be at home or at school. She's learning tons, and developing a healthy appreciation for art, music, sharing, and even more of an appreciation for her role within our own family.
I feel lucky to have had these positive experiences locally, because I know how hard it can be to find the right mix between instruction, teachers, care levels, etc.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Stress, stress and more stress
Gosh, listing the top ten stressors is interesting. Let me see how I can tackle this...
1. Economics
2. Children's behavior
3. Insufficient Couple time
4. Lack of shared responsibility in the family
5. Communicating with children
6. Insufficient "me" time
7. Guilt for not accomplishing more
8. Spousal relationship
9. Insufficient family play time
10. Overscheduled family calendar
As for their effect on children, they can be so deep and layered that it's difficult to comprehend and describe, but I can give it a shot.
Economic Issues - These are many layered. There are the more surface issues having to do with what the children have and don't have to use/learn from/eat/play with, then there are the more subtle issues like nutritional levels for children of lower economic status.
Children's behavior - It's pertinent that behavior is addressed in a consistent way. If it isn't then the children receive different reactions to different behaviors and cannot be taught the right way to work within their world, be it the microsystem, the macrosystem, or even the chronosystem.
Insufficient couple time - This leads to instability within the family and can be a precursor to so many other issues and ultimately divorce. The child could also begin to think that it isn't important to spend time with those you are closest to, and feel as though withdrawl is an appropriate reaction.
Lack of shared responsibility in the family - This can be having a stay at home mom versus a home child care, or a child care center caring for your child. This can affect their relationships with their parents, and their socilization with their peers. If mom is always cooking and cleaning, a little girl may think it's one of her jobs to handle these domestic duties. If a dad is always working in the garage on cars, etc., boys may think it is part of their gender role to do so.
Communicating with children - The messages relayed to children within a household must be the same from all angles. If they aren't, then the children experience less of sense of stability and and begin to manipulate the situation themselves.
Insufficient 'me' time - I know personally that when I don't have time to take care of myself (I go to the gym for that - a good 5-7 days per week) I get more stressed, and feel as though the world is caving in. This effects my children because they are experiencing the way I'm behaving and having to deal with a more difficult mother.
Guilt for not accomplishing more - This can be an issue both for divorced parents and married ones, but I would assume it might be worse for single parents. If the parents display that they feel guilty, the children will pick up on that, and internalize it. They may then feel the guilt themselves, and feel things that aren't actually their problem are.
Spousal Relationship - This effects children on many levels, and depends on many things. Our exchange student is a child of what is essentially a divorce (her parents never officially married, but were together nearly 15 years) her age at the time (12) made it a much different experience for her than when my parents divorced when I was only 18 months old. It can effect their relationships with parents, siblings, and other authority figures, and lots of other things. Married or divorced, the relationship between a child's parents can affect them in many ways. They see marriage difficulties, and they can reflect into children's later lives and adult relationships.
Insufficient family play time - This can effect children in terms of having a skewed sense of what is most important in life. I try to emphasize game nights, etc. with my family so they understand the most important things aren't necessarily the ones that are on the calendar and timed, etc.
Overscheduled family calendar - If events and duties are considered more important than relationships we are creating a society where people are less important. Relationships need to have a central focus, and if they don't, children can again be desensitized to the level of depth that is or isn't appropriate within these relationships.
Overscheduled family calendar - As a parent I feel that society requires that I play an active role in my children's education and this means I'm a volunteer in my son's second grade classroom once a week. It also means I'm hands on when it comes to his homework, and have my daughter do work from a preschool workbook on the days she doesn't actually attend preschool. I think this affects them in terms of having a connection with me, but also with seeing how important an aspect of their lives this is because I'm placing a significant emphasis on it myself. This is just one more added stressor, but one I assume willingly.
1. Economics
2. Children's behavior
3. Insufficient Couple time
4. Lack of shared responsibility in the family
5. Communicating with children
6. Insufficient "me" time
7. Guilt for not accomplishing more
8. Spousal relationship
9. Insufficient family play time
10. Overscheduled family calendar
As for their effect on children, they can be so deep and layered that it's difficult to comprehend and describe, but I can give it a shot.
Economic Issues - These are many layered. There are the more surface issues having to do with what the children have and don't have to use/learn from/eat/play with, then there are the more subtle issues like nutritional levels for children of lower economic status.
Children's behavior - It's pertinent that behavior is addressed in a consistent way. If it isn't then the children receive different reactions to different behaviors and cannot be taught the right way to work within their world, be it the microsystem, the macrosystem, or even the chronosystem.
Insufficient couple time - This leads to instability within the family and can be a precursor to so many other issues and ultimately divorce. The child could also begin to think that it isn't important to spend time with those you are closest to, and feel as though withdrawl is an appropriate reaction.
Lack of shared responsibility in the family - This can be having a stay at home mom versus a home child care, or a child care center caring for your child. This can affect their relationships with their parents, and their socilization with their peers. If mom is always cooking and cleaning, a little girl may think it's one of her jobs to handle these domestic duties. If a dad is always working in the garage on cars, etc., boys may think it is part of their gender role to do so.
Communicating with children - The messages relayed to children within a household must be the same from all angles. If they aren't, then the children experience less of sense of stability and and begin to manipulate the situation themselves.
Insufficient 'me' time - I know personally that when I don't have time to take care of myself (I go to the gym for that - a good 5-7 days per week) I get more stressed, and feel as though the world is caving in. This effects my children because they are experiencing the way I'm behaving and having to deal with a more difficult mother.
Guilt for not accomplishing more - This can be an issue both for divorced parents and married ones, but I would assume it might be worse for single parents. If the parents display that they feel guilty, the children will pick up on that, and internalize it. They may then feel the guilt themselves, and feel things that aren't actually their problem are.
Spousal Relationship - This effects children on many levels, and depends on many things. Our exchange student is a child of what is essentially a divorce (her parents never officially married, but were together nearly 15 years) her age at the time (12) made it a much different experience for her than when my parents divorced when I was only 18 months old. It can effect their relationships with parents, siblings, and other authority figures, and lots of other things. Married or divorced, the relationship between a child's parents can affect them in many ways. They see marriage difficulties, and they can reflect into children's later lives and adult relationships.
Insufficient family play time - This can effect children in terms of having a skewed sense of what is most important in life. I try to emphasize game nights, etc. with my family so they understand the most important things aren't necessarily the ones that are on the calendar and timed, etc.
Overscheduled family calendar - If events and duties are considered more important than relationships we are creating a society where people are less important. Relationships need to have a central focus, and if they don't, children can again be desensitized to the level of depth that is or isn't appropriate within these relationships.
Overscheduled family calendar - As a parent I feel that society requires that I play an active role in my children's education and this means I'm a volunteer in my son's second grade classroom once a week. It also means I'm hands on when it comes to his homework, and have my daughter do work from a preschool workbook on the days she doesn't actually attend preschool. I think this affects them in terms of having a connection with me, but also with seeing how important an aspect of their lives this is because I'm placing a significant emphasis on it myself. This is just one more added stressor, but one I assume willingly.
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